The seven habits introduced in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens are characteristics that happy and successful teens the world over have in common. These habits are guides and ways of thinking to help the normal teenager navigate through the modern "teenage jungle." They are ways to deal with the emotional roller coaster during teenage years, and each one builds upon the other. Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with self-mastery, or the "Private Victory." Habits 4, 5, and 6 deal with relationships and teamwork in the "Public Victory." The 7th habit is the habit of self-renewal. These habits are things teenagers should do repeatedly; they will make us or break us. The life of a teenager is full to its rim of tough issues and life changing decisions ranging from peer pressure to motivation to being successful. These seven habits act as the ultimate compass to live through life in the right direction and deal with everyday problems.
Paradigms and Principles: The Basis
What is a paradigm? A paradigm is another word for perception. A paradigm is the way you see something, your point of view, frame of reference, or belief. They can benefit us, creating a vision of the world where success and prosperity is easily in our grasp. However, they can also hinder us, creating limitations. They are like glasses, and an incomplete paradigm about yourself is like wearing glasses with the wrong prescription. It is important to have lens that positively affect how you see things. There are paradigms of yourself and of others. Positive paradigms can always bring the best out of us. Furthermore, the best paradigm to hold is the principle-centered paradigm. In this paradigm, you live by principles, and it is the key to doing better in all other centers. Great principles to live by include honestly, respect, and service. So through seeing the world in this way, you are more likely to succeed in your teenage life and practice the other habits in effectiveness.
The Personal Bank Account: The Private Victory
"Before you'll ever win the public arenas of life, you must first win private battles within yourself. All change begins with you." As the quote stated, all change begins with yourself; it is inside out, not outside in. How you feel about yourself is like a bank account. You can make deposits into it, but also take withdraws from your personal bank account by things you think, say, and do. Depositing into your Personal Bank Account consists of keeping promises to yourself, doing small acts of kindness, being gentle with yourself, being honest, renewing yourself, and tapping into your talents. Withdrawals, however, include breaking promises, beating yourself up, neglecting your talents, etc. So in order to win the Private Victory to improve relationships, you must change within yourself and keep a healthy PBA. Ultimately, The Private Victory will help you become independent so that you can say, "I am responsible for myself and I can create my own destiny." This is a huge accomplishment.
The Relationship Bank Account: The Public Victory
Relationships are the stuff life is made of. The Private Victory is so important because the most important ingredient in any relationship is what you are. The Public Victory will help you become interdependent, that is, help you learn to work cooperatively with others so you can say that you are a team player and have influence with people. Along with the Personal Bank Account, you now have the Relationship Bank Account. The RBA represents the amount of trust and confidence you have in each of your relationships. A strong and healthy relationship is always the result of steady deposits made over a long period. Deposits into this RBA include keeping promises, doing small acts of kindness, being loyal, listening, saying you're sorry, and setting clear expectations. Withdrawals, however, include being arrogant, setting false expectations, and gossiping/ breaking confidences. Ultimately, better relationships occur through certain mentalities and ways of handling situations.